Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
