Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
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