we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
