One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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