did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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