You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
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