He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
