you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
