She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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