We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
