So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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