im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
