genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
