i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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