The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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