Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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