Too much gin, very little bucket
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
