I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
