she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
