Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
