my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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