what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
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