Porn is love you can see.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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