Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
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