I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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