Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
