break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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