but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
