Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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