I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
