you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize