Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
