Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
