Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
