so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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