3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
