ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
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And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
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I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
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