What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
