so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
