Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
