If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
