Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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