Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
