Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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