Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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