I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
you're hired as official boob wrangler
So vagazzling was a success
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
