using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
