This beer is not sobering me up at all
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
