Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
