Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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