Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
