come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
