Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
