i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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