I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
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I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
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He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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