do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
im six kinds of drunk right now
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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