omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Randomize
