But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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