I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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