Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
