Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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