Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
