Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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