before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
