his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
