I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I AM VODKA MAN
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
