Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
