we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
